the blog at planet-roz

De Soto just spent a weekend in Cape Town composed of coastal drives, promenade walks, ice cold Windhoek lager, Avishai, and seminar chuckles among other things. The hand brake came off the relationship road, and here I find myself skipping along again.

We officially have a song — “Winter Song” from Avishai Cohen’s Aurora, which he bought for me. In Joburg, he’d told me I had to listen to the words (whether I liked it or not, which is so him, but that’s part of the allure), which I did, and I’ve grown to love the song, although I don’t think it’s your run of the mill “our song”, but this whole adventure is not run of the mill.

So my second trip to Joburg was very different from the first, and I’m not going to go into a lot of detail. I learned though that life is most certainly not a rom-com and definitely, maybe I watch too many of them for my own good.

The knife throwing antics were replaced with bumps in the road and just finding out that we are none of us one-dimensional, which is probably a good thing. However, since I seem to be someone who deals in extremes — a mini revelation to me as I thought I see the grey in life and not just the black and white — the hand brake on the relationship road was definitely engaged, which of course was quite evident.

So just got back from an evening of “all you can eat sushi” at Saul’s with Mireille and her friend Fiona. I think we went overboard and left there slightly tipsy from white wine and an overdose of sushi.

The first round was fine and we were well up for the second, and wondered why it took so long to arrive. The second round (which really should have been the first) was a huge platter of all sorts of dishes we hadn’t tried before, which we went for since it was “all you can eat” an’ all.

Anyway, the waitress had warned us and suggested we try two servings of some of the new dishes, but I was like “No way. It’s all you can eat right? We’ll have three. Bring it on!”, gently encouraged by Fiona, lest it seem it was only my eyes that were too big for my stomach. It turned out the new dishes were huge portions — you know the type where you just cram it in and then try to cover your mouth so that you don’t look un-ladylike!

Now I’m paying for it. It’s 10.33pm on a work night and there’s no way I can sleep anytime soon as it would just be way too uncomfortable.

Good advice from two wise people:

1. Follow your heart and trust your instincts
2. Get ready to catch the next wave

So another January 24 has come and gone, but this one was different, with no prior angst or trepidation.

Was treated to lunch and talk of a mid-life crisis at the Mount Nelson Hotel, where my luncheon companions remarked that 10-14 years ago, we wouldn’t have been allowed into the hotel, as it would have been for whites only. Then 5 seconds later we all realised that the place is still full of white people, so nothing’s really changed there then. I actually was blissfully unaware that I was going through a mid-life crisis until it was pointed out to me that pondering whether or not I’ve made a difference to the world or whether I’ve got a mini-me somewhere to carry on my lineage does indeed constitute a mid-life crisis. Who knew?

The afternoon was spent having a wonderful chat with my neighbour downstairs who is just the most wonderful person ever, and it’s actually her birthday today.

In the evening, I was treated to a meal at the Harbour House restaurant in Kalk Bay by Alisha where I had tuna tartare, which was refreshing, but somehow not as palatable as tuna sashimi, and where I was given a red rose by the French-speaking manager.

Then Alisha, her friend Ritu and I went downstairs to Polana’s to join their friends Andreas, Femi and Johanna where we danced to Angolan music by Adamu and co. until near midnight. All in all, I had the most fun on my birthday, and thanks to everyone who made it special!

So it’s my birthday tomorrow, and for the first time in many years it’s not such a bad thing. This is the first ever time I can remember telling people I’m the age I will be tomorrow before I’ve even got there.

There are many things in my life I would like to change — I would like so much for my mother to be here with me and for her to be in perfect health. Also, I would like not to keep looking back and thinking “if only”, which can be extremely destructive and debilitating. This is a different life than the one I had in mind, but it’s still my life, and I can honestly say I’ve grown in so many ways in the past three years, and that’s got to be a good thing.

The past year has had its ups and downs, both spiritually and otherwise. I’ve come to love my church and cherish the friends I’ve made there. Anyone who knows me from my younger days would not really view me as an encourager, but this past year God has used me to encourage a few people in my life, which really blows my mind.

It’s interesting how different people see me and how I’m a different friend to different people. This is turning out to be a bit of a challenge this post, and will probably be all over the place. So I’m going to be another year older, and what have I got to show for it apart from an extremely hard year at work last year (but I’m thankful!) where I crawled into bed most nights. I’m hoping this year will be different.

Made some new friends like Mz Mlz whose sense of humour is wicked (in a good way) which I love, and which not everybody gets. Had lots of ups and downs and much melodrama with my friend M, but I think we’ve come to a mutual understanding. Grown closer to my friend Donna who keeps it real and gives me what for like Angela does.

Had my first article published in a newspaper, and really really want to somehow make my secret dream of writing a novel come true, but not sure how or where to start. I’ve started keeping a diary again and one of the things I’m doing is journalling a relationship as it happens which I’ve never done before.

I got to go to Germany this past year which was a wonderful opportunity as it was so good to get out of SA in general. Went on a mini safari with my friend Carlo and thought my life would take a different turn, but it didn’t, and then suddenly it did towards the end of the year, in a totally unexpected but wonderful direction.

So that’s the end of this ramble. Just to see how I’ve progressed (or otherwise), here are some other birthdays:

2008 Part 1 (Cape Town) | 2008 Part 2 (Cape Town)
2007 (Nigeria)
2006 (Washington, DC)
2005 (Washington, DC)
2004 (Washington, DC)

I would write a review for Sherlock Holmes and Avatar, and I would re-ignite the film reviews in general.

Anyhoo, Roz is seriously “loved up” as the Brits say, as she got such a sweet text message this morning from de Soto.

Should I be so happy, and more to the point, should I write about it? Maybe not, but oh, well, who cares?

So here we are in 2010 finally. I’ve applied for World Cup tickets in Cape Town, and because they cost rather more than I thought, I am sort of hoping I don’t get all that I applied for as I’ll be flat broke, but then, on the other hand, I’m in SA, the World Cup’s in SA, and it would be a crying shame not to attend any matches.

Had a wonderful 6 days in Joburg at the end of last year / beginning of this year, thanks to one de Soto, who put me at ease right from picking me up at the airport. Some of the things we did:

Walked out of the play “The Woman in Black” at the Montecasino theatre half way through as it was kind of morbid for new year’s eve and seemed to be going nowhere. This after the play started late with no apology from anyone until the audience started slow clapping in protest. This was our “first official date”.

Went to Sedibeng (have to check the spelling), a pub/restaurant in Meadowlands Zone 10 in Soweto to bring in the new year.

Went to see Invictus at The Zone in Rosebank for our “second official date”.

His family were amazing, and welcomed me with open arms and smiles. I got to say “Aangename kennis” to a lot of people, and he kept on going on about how I’ve learned more Afrikaans in 6 days in Joburg (and that from Matt Damon in Invictus for goodness sake!) than in two years in Cape Town. (NOT TRUE).

We all went to the Apartheid Museum, which was a real eye opener. I had no idea of the extent of this country’s history, and will endeavour to be more sensitive and compassionate from now on.

Went to see Sherlock Holmes, which he loved although his fidgeting suggested otherwise. He actually had the cheek to ask if I had understood it and if I needed him to explain any of it. The boys went to see Twilight: New Moon Saga.

Watched a lot of test cricket between SA and England at Newlands in Cape Town. I learned the rules from Clive and sort of kept up, although I stand by my opinion that cricket is the second most boring sport, after golf of course.

He made me “ideal coffee” every morning and called me “Rozalina”, which I loved.

He was actually going to make scrambled eggs for breakfast and then there was a power cut so we had to go to Wimpy for breakfast. That afternoon I tagged along to this pool joint called Magic’s, I think, on the road to Vereeniging, and immediately felt transported to redneck country somewhere in Virginia, although he assured me the owners are really nice, which they were.

He tried to throw sharp knives at me and had me mopping up his kitchen floor.

Zwe’s jazz was truly amazing. I am not a jazz fan, and it is quite definitely an acquired taste, but I reckon I learned how to appreciate some of it. It was fascinating watching Zwe play with his eyes closed, totally lost in the music. And then I looked at the pianist and the drummer and they too were individually lost in their music. That was inspiring.

He loves trash TV and would rather watch the likes of Scandal and Isidingo than hang out with me.

I bought him District 9, which he enjoyed, and we all watched it together.

He said I should read “The White Tiger” by Aravind Adiga, which was absolutely brilliant. The other book he recommended I read is “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett which I am currently reading.

He’s right — we are compatible.

Well, it appears this has turned out to be a de Soto praise post, but what the hey! 2010 is so far looking good.

This Christmas is very different from Christmases past and doesn’t much feel like Christmas at all to tell you the truth. Well, I wanted to see what a Cape Town Christmas would be like and here I am. Unfortunately, I wasn’t able to go and spend Christmas with my mum this year, and I feel bad as she won’t have me or my brother with her, but hopefully I’ll get to see her in the New Year.

Got to hang out with a colleague from work today at her house. I basically invited myself (initially for Christmas day) and told her this is the time of year when lots of people commit suicide so she better invite me or else! It was a fun day, although she beat me at Scrabble, which I didn’t appreciate. Also listened to a bit of Morcheeba which was sweet, and a lot of the Black Eyed Peas “The E.N.D.”, which basically was disposable pop with no meaning as far as I was concerned. Like music to jump up and down to for no real reason.

Playing Scrabble though reminded me of 2 West Virginia Christmases at Sandra’s where her family made me feel so welcome, it was truly amazing. I’ll be spending Christmas with Donna and her family, which will be wonderful as she’s been a very great and true friend to me this year, and we understand each other. She’s also been very encouraging and stopped me quite a few times from putting my foot in my mouth. Feeling kind of sad and wondering why emotions exist at all as they can be pretty annoying and inconvenient.

It’s been a very busy, very tiring year at work and even though the sun’s shining outside, I pretty much just want to sleep. Even though I still wake up at 5am, it’s so good to be able to just go back to sleep if I want to, and do whatever the heck I want during the day, and not have to CRAWL into bed at night exhausted.

So 2009 is nearly over. Where did it go? Hopefully 2010 will be something new.

You would not believe how people drive around here — totally oblivious to the rules of the road for the most part. The other day I was practically pushed out of my lane (by a flippin’ traffic department car no less) veering into it from the left, without signalling and without taking note of the fact that there were indeed two separate lanes. These are the people who decide whether or not we pass our driving tests for goodness sake!

And then yesterday, I was in my lane on a 3-lane portion of the N2 on the way to Cape Town. The left lane is the ramp that leads off towards Muizenberg or Milnerton or wherever. I’m in the middle lane which becomes the extreme left lane because of the ramp and the lane on my right has a concrete barrier next to it ‘cos of all the construction. So I’m going 80-odd kmph and suddenly, out of nowhere, this little bakkie truck thingy suddenly appears with the front half-way in my lane, forcing me to slow down completely or else hit him. Thankfully the woman behind me is paying attention otherwise she would have hit me an’ all. Instead she sounds her horn very loudly, while I am shaking my fist at the guy saying “what are you doing?”, quite calmly though, like I’m having a conversation with myself. It would appear he had gone on to the off ramp and then had a change of heart and decided to do a semi u-turn to get back on to the highway.

The constant and total disregard for the rules of the road in SA never ceases to amaze me.